hauntedliving

Each Saturday, weather permitting; we take our dogs for a ride in the van.  They love to ride almost as much as they love chicken.  The only time they don’t like to ride is when the ride ends at the Vet’s office. 

Last Saturday around noon they surrounded us with the begging.  The big sad eyes and the paws placed with a sigh on our leg.  We knew what they wanted so after we teased them for a while we decided to take Bear with us to the store to purchase dog food. We would then come back for the two girl dogs and take them together for a ride down the road. 

My husband put the lease on Bear and took him out the back door.  I followed them out the door shutting it behind me.  Since it was cold I had on a long coat which is two sizes too large for me.  Because it is so big it bags out behind me.  It is the warmest coat I own and because it is so big I can layer under it.  When I shut the door I took a small step and could go no farther.  I tried to turn my head as far as I could to see what was holding me when I realized I had shut the door on my coat. I did not know that my husband had turned the lock on his way out.  If you have ever seen a bug stuck on his back then you can imagine what I looked like.  I could not get loose and I could not turn enough to unlock the door.  My husband finally stopped laughing long enough to free me from the door.  I was lucky we decided to take Bear first or I would have had a very large dog pulling me while I was stuck. Yeah, I have the luck of the Irish.

I overheard some women talking about their jobs the other day.  One of them was complaining because she wants every Monday off.  Another was complaining because she had to work an extra hour. They were all saying they were going to quit and find a new job.  Well good luck ladies on finding that new perfect job in this day of layoffs, shutdowns, and cut backs.  They seem to think we are still in the eighties.  They don’t know what a bad job is.  I have had some bad ones but I hung in there just as long as I could.

I once worked at a company that did back ground checks.  I was hired for part-time but at that job part-time meant all the time. I had to put up with a dog in heat who was in love with my ankles, filing stacked on the floor almost to the ceiling because she would not let us use the filing cabinets, two truck loads of craft supplies, dirty dishes, and a paranoid boss who stayed at the office all week and only went home on weekends because she was afraid someone would steal her clients.  The woman was crazy as a Betsy bug.  She brought in a cake on Thursday with the words “you’re doing a great job”, and then fired me on Friday because as she said “I just did not get it”!

Another job was at an answering service.  The lady who owned that company had a dog, her Mother who had dementia, and her two preschool grandchildren.  I had to walk the dog, help the Mother to the bathroom, feed her, and take care of the kids.  All this had to be done while answering the phones and taking messages.  

I love dogs as much as the next person but I feel they should not be in an office unless the company deals with animals. 

If those women were smart they would stop complaining and be thankful they have a job at all.  Even a bad job is better than no job.

The other night I went outside to put a bag of trash in the trunk of my car.  I have to park near the barn which is a good way from the house. Each time I have to do this at night I get scared.  I hear rustling in the bushes and trees each and every time I go out at night.  It never fails to happen.  Part of me knows it is most likely just night squirrels or owls but another part of me knows it could be a bobcat or a bear.  Even a deer at the wrong time of year can be dangerous.

As soon as I got outside that night I heard the usual rustling sounds.  The first rustling sound came from my left. Then the noise came from behind me.  I turned around so fast to see what was behind me that I saw stars.  I stood as still as a mouse for a full ten minutes too scared to move.  When I didn’t hear anything else I opened the trunk and placed the trash bag inside.  I then shut the trunk and started to walk away when an Armadillo came out from under my car just inches from my left foot.  I screamed and turned to run for the house.  But that Armadillo had anticipated what I would do next.  He had dug holes just at the right spots.  My right foot went into one of the holes and down I went, face first on the damp cold ground.  He didn’t count on how fast I can be when I’m scared because I was up and running again in mere seconds.  He made an attempt to cut me off but I watch football.  I made a touchdown in no time flat at the back door.  I jerked the door open and made it safely inside with no time to spare. I peaked outside to see the Armadillo flash me a satisfied and triumph look before casually digging into the grass by the back porch.

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One day Jeff and Joey were playing at Hillcrest Baptist Church.  This little sweet church has a bathroom where they were able to get dressed.  Unfortunately the door did not have a lock.  This church was special to them and they wanted to look their best for the singing.  Joey went in first and got dressed then waited outside while Jeff got dressed.  When Jeff pulled his pants on he noticed the zipper was broke. In a panic he yelled for Joey.  It was decided that Joey would ask around for a pin to hold the pants together.  Joey found a safety pin and gave it to Jeff.  As hard as he tried Jeff could not hold the pants together and pin them at the same time.  All this time Joey is waiting outside the door offering encouragement to Jeff. They can hear the music start up inside the church and know they are running out of time.  Joey finally decides to help Jeff by holding the zipper shut while Jeff pins the zipper.  This still does not work very well. After another ten minutes Joey gets down on one knee hoping he can hold the zipper better.  While Joey in on his knees in front of Jeff a young boy walks into the bathroom.  The boy stops, turns red in the face and starts backing out of the bathroom. Joey said to the boy “stop! It is not what you think and you are not going any where until I explain”.  He explained to the boy what was going on with the zipper.  The boy then decided to wait while they finish.  They finally got the zipper pinned and went into the church.  As Joey put it they had zipperitous back then.

This blog was written in loving memory of my sweet special friend Joey.  Heaven is more impressive now that he is there. 

When I was pregnant with my youngest daughter my best friend, Ronda, was pregnant as well.  We were each due to have our babies in the month of September and had the same doctor.  Since the doctors office was a forty minute drive from the small town we both lived in we would try to schedule our doctor appointments on the same day and around the same time. That way we could make the trip together each month.  We were both so excited that our babies would be born just a couple of weeks apart.  

During our eighth month of pregnancy we made our bi-monthly trip to the doctor.  Our conversation on the way to the doctor’s office consisted of how much weight we had gained and how our maturity clothes were wearing out. I was wearing a pair of slacks with a shirt while Ronda had on her only nice dress.  Ronda told me how her underwear was stretched and did not stay up very well.  With only a month to go until the birth she didn’t want to buy new underwear until the baby was born. We had had this same conversation two weeks before when I encouraged Ronda to buy Granny panties.  Jan felt that being pregnant made her un-sexy to her husband. To her way of thinking Granny panties would make her even more unappealing.  She was determined to stay in her bikini panties until the very end. 

My appointment was an hour before Ronda’s appointment that day.  Because it was such a pretty day once I was done I went to sit in the car while I waited for Ronda.  I had backed the car into the parking space so I had a clear view of the door to the office.  After about thirty minutes two cars pulled up.  While the people from the two cars were making their way to the office Ronda came out.  I noticed right away that something was wrong with Ronda.  She was walking as if she was in pain.  She was kind of slumped over a little and her face was red. I also noticed something bright red was around her knees.  I thought it was blood at first until I realized what I was seeing was a pair of bright red, stretched, lace panties making their way down her legs. As she walked the panties slid lower down her legs. With each step the panties got lower until they were around her ankles.  When the panties dropped to her ankles Ronda stopped, stepped out of the panties and hurried to the car.  As I drove away I took one last look at the sad panties puddle up on the parking lot. We made a stop on the way home that day for Ronda to buy the one thing she hated most; Granny panties.