hauntedliving

This was the most depressing Halloween in my entire life.  I just could not get into the spirit of the holiday this year.  I put some of the decorations out side the front door but most of the decorations stayed in the storage totes.  I did not put the window clings on the windows or the glass storm door.  I did not turn on the mechanical monster, skull, or skeleton either. The sign that pointed the way to the treats fell over and I just left it that way. I didn’t hang the black and orange tensile or the giant spider.  The covers for the lamps also stayed in the box.  The spider web is still unopened.  I did not buy any ghost or pumpkin cookies.  I never once drooled over the candy apples at the store.

I bought candy, put it in a bowl, and placed the bowl on a table where the kids would see it. Instead of handing out candy I worked at the computer.

Until this year I got as much enjoyment from Halloween as the kids did.  I would dress up, put on spooky music, and hand out the candy.  I don’t understand why this year was so different.  I just hope I am not like this on Christmas.

My fifth grade teacher was named Mrs. Jackson and she was the meanest woman to ever teach school.  I firmly believe she hated all her students.  I also believe she hated my brother and me the most.  She seemed to take pleasure from mocking the students.

One day during English class she told the entire classroom she had drove by my house over the weekend and saw me sitting on the grass eating earthworms.  I cried the rest of the day while my classmates teased me.  When I told my parents what Mrs. Jackson had said Mama got angry while Daddy just shook his head.  They explained to me that Mrs. Jackson had wanted to buy the land my parents bought for their house. 

About a month later I got a failing grade on a test.  Mrs. Jackson told the entire class that I got an F on my test.  She instructed me to have my parents sign the test.  Daddy was strict on us when it came to school so fearing that he would whip me I hid the test.  The next day Mrs. Jackson asked for the test back.  When she saw it wasn’t signed she took me to the hall and paddled me. She told me that each day it was not signed was a day for a paddling.  Once again I took it home and hid it and once again the next day I got a paddling. I knew I had to do something unless I wanted to get paddled everyday for the rest of the school year.  The next day I placed the signed test on her desk.  With trembling legs I took my seat waiting for her to notice that the signature on the test was in my handwriting.  Someone was looking out for me that day because she never realized the signature was forged.  I made sure to never fail another test in her class.

Mama is only five feet, two inches tall but when she gets mad you would swear she was at least seven feet tall.  She is a sweet person and it takes a lot to make her mad.  She raised her kids with lots of love, understanding, listening, and guidance.  I could not ask for a better mother. 

When I was sixteen years old I got cocky.  I began to mouth off just a little bit to Mama here and there.  I think I was feeling her out to see just how much I could get away with.  That didn’t last long.  

One day I got really cocky and thought I was going to fight Mama.  I was four inches taller and thought I was something else.  I drew back my arm to hit Mama and something weird happened.  The whole world passed in front of my eyes and the next thing I knew I was flat on my back lying on the ground.  My tiny Mama was sitting on my chest and her legs were pinning my arms to the ground.  Mama looked me in the eye and softly told me to never try that again.  She didn’t have to tell me twice.   

When was the last time you saw a sugar free donut?  Last week?  Last month?  Have you ever seen a sugar free donut?  If anyone makes them they sure don’t sell them in my neck of the woods. I search for sugar free donuts for my husband each time I go into a store hoping that a company like Sarah Lee or Dunkin will make them.  The choices for diabetics are limited when it comes to deserts. 

My heart goes out to my husband and others like him who search in vain for sugar free deserts.  Walmart sells sugar free pies; cherry, apple, and peach, which we buy but it gets old buying the same pies each time.  My husband would kill for a sugar free Éclair.  We got lucky and found sugar free lemon marinade pie twice at Walmart.  When we could not find them anymore we asked one of the ladies who bake the pies when they would have them again. We were told they are not going to bake them in the future. 

The CDC states there are 24 million diabetics in the United States with 57 million who are pre-diabetic.  The amount of people with diabetics in the world is 230 million.  It seems to me that any baking company with a shred of intelligence would want to sell a product those millions of people would buy.

Bullying is a major problem in the schools in the United States.  No one knows just how many students are bullied because many students do not tell anyone.  I know how it feels to be bullied for I went through it myself in High School.

There was a boy named James who used to bully me each and everyday from the time I started ninth grade.  He rode the same bus I rode so I got bullied at school and on the bus.  He pulled my hair, hit me, tripped me, and ridiculed me until I just wanted to kill myself to escape the daily torture.  No one ever defended me but they were quick to laugh when he bullied me.  The teachers turned a blind eye when they saw what James did to me.  I knew no one at school would help me and I was scared to tell my parents.  My Dad would go to the school which would just make things harder on me if the kids found out.

I just put up with the abuse until one day when the Science teacher was running late. He had locked his classroom so the whole class was waiting for him in the hall.  James decided to pass the time by hitting me in the head with his fist.  Something in me snapped that day.  Everything turned red as if I was looking through blood.  I took my heavy Science book and attacked James with it.  Someone pulled the book out of my hands which did little to stop me.  I went at him with my bare hands.  All the angry and hurt that had built up put me into a rage.  I beat James until the teacher and three boys were finally able to pull me off him.  James was bloody and bruised but his troubles had just begun.  Now he had to listen as kids mocked him for getting beat up by a girl.  Sometimes what goes around does come around.

I would love to say that the bulling stopped that day but sadly it didn’t. 

On Saturday, September 26, my husband and I went to Dollar General to buy batteries for our remote and some bleach.  As we were walking to the back of the store where they the bleach is located we noticed something odd.  On one side of the aisle were Halloween decorations and directly across on the other side of the aisle there were Christmas decorations.  I can understand the Halloween decorations because it is early October but not the Christmas decorations.  Then the next day we had to go to Walmart to pick up some dog food.  We decided to look at the Halloween decorations there.  We also found some Christmas decorations there too.  It seems that each year the Christmas decorations are out earlier and earlier.  I guess one day they will decide to just leave them up year round. 

My mother was in the hospital after an auto accident.  Grandma offered to stay with Barry, Beverly, and me while Daddy worked.  She got us up for school, made our breakfast, cleaned, did laundry, and cooked dinner.  After dinner Grandma would sit with us while we did our homework and Daddy went to the hospital to visit Mama.

One night for dinner Grandma cooked a big pot of butterbeans with ham hocks.  She cooked them on low for hours and the smell filled the entire house.  We watched the clock waiting for Daddy to return from work so we could eat.  After what seemed like days Daddy walked though the door.  Grandma poured the butterbeans into a bowl and placed the beans and a plate of biscuits on the table.  We quickly sat down and said our blessing.  As soon as the Amen was said we snatched up our forks.  I was just about to put the first bite in my mouth when I noticed tiny black objects in the bean juice.  I looked around the table at Daddy, Grandma, Barry, and Beverly who were devouring the butterbeans.  With a sinking heart I told Daddy that the beans had black ants in them.  At once you could have heard a pin drop.  Every fork stopped mid air between plate and mouth.  Daddy told me that it was just the hulls from the beans and to eat my food.  No one moved until I told him “well Daddy this is the first time the hulls have had little legs” That’s when everyone at the table tossed their forks to the table.  We ate sandwiches that night for dinner.

Last Saturday, September 26, my husband and I went to Dollar General to buy batteries for our remote and some bleach.  As we were walking to the back of the store where the bleach is located we noticed something odd.  On one side of the aisle were Halloween decorations and directly across on the other side of the aisle there were Christmas decorations.  There was Santa on one side and Jack on the other.  This was the first time in my life I have ever seen both decorations out at the same time much less on the same aisle.  We both just stopped and stood there with our mouths gapping over. I can understand the Halloween decorations because today is the first day of October but not the Christmas decorations.  It seems that each year the Christmas decorations are out earlier and earlier.  I guess one day they will decide to just leave them up year round. 

I had just started seventh grade and I looked like a long haired boy. All my friends were wearing bras and filling them up.  I had nothing to put in a bra.  Even though I had no figure at all I still begged Mama to buy me a bra.  Along with my school clothes Mama bought me two training bras.

The next year I begged Mama for a real bra.  Once again Mama came through for me.  She bought me two AA bras for school with my school clothes.  They sat over empty air like little white tents.  One of my friends and told me she stuffed her bra with tissue so I thought if she can do I can too.  I grabbed two handfuls of tissue and it in my cups.  I gazed at myself in the mirror and liked the difference the new bra made in my figure.

I grabbed my books and caught the bus for school.

Later on that day I went to the school store.  I stood in the long lines and waited my turn.  Finally it was my turn bet before I could tell Mrs. Jackson what I wanted she asked if I had a cold. Feeling confused I stammered “no, why?”  She nodded her head at my chest and said “well you’re carrying your tissues in your bra.”  During the day the tissue had rode up and was partly sticking out.  All the kids standing behind me were laughing. I was so embarrassed that I just wanted the floor to open up and swallow me.  I never stuffed my bra again. 

Around the house I wear flip flops or cheap lace up canvas shoes.  Until this year I bought them at Walmart for $5.00.  They would come in blue, white, or black.  I always bought the white ones.  This year Walmart did not have any regular canvas shoes.  What they were selling looked more like ballet shoes with almost no sole on them.  I bought a pair and wore them for about an hour.  They were so uncomfortable that I tossed them back into the closet and that’s where they have been ever since.  I went back to wearing my old pair of regular canvas shoes I bought last year.  They are more brown than white, the laces are frayed, the toes have holes in them, and my toes stick through the holes. 

This morning I had to take the three dogs out and clean the house before going shopping.  I went ahead and got dressed for shopping but put my old shoes on. I didn’t want to take a chance on stepping in poop in my good shoes.  I walked the dogs then got busy on the house work.  I then put on my makeup, grabbed my purse and headed out.

My first stop was at Walmart for dog supplies, vitamins, and bug spray.  While standing in the checkout line I looked over the gossip magazines.  Just then I had the feeling I was being watched.  Looking around I saw a woman intently staring at my feet.  When I looked down at my feet I realized I was still wearing my old shoes.  Two of my pink polished toes looked back at me.  My face flamed with embarrassment until the lady behind me, who had also noticed my shoes told me” don’t feel bad. It has happened to me too. Except for me it was house shoes.”

Instead of driving twenty miles back home to change shoes I went on to Kroger and did my grocery shopping.  I was still embarrassed but at least I was comfortable.